There are two cats in the house there's "C" and "P" (the names have been changed to protect the innocent, I don't want them to get stalked on Facespace or Mybook.) "C" is my cat. She is quiet and a bit of a loner but she loves attention in the morning and late at night. She's slowly becoming more friendly, even popping up on strangers for some attention and a bit of cat-style showing off. This is no mean feat considering just how antisocial she has been in the past. She used to be more of a growl, hiss kind of kitty.
"P" is the little weirdo. She's generally more friendly but with a slice of "The Mental" (a common trait in felines.) She is/was my ex's cat. Now that said ex isn't here the poor little thing won't stop squawking whenever she's out of sight of a human. She has also started sticking to me like glue. This would be rather nice if it wasn't for the fact that the other cat is getting jealous. Normally this has never been an issue as they have such different personalities so they never really tread on each others territory. Now with only one human in the house things are starting to change.
Normally in the mornings around 8am "C" decides to start kitty alarm clock maneuvers. This is a combination of creeping up to my face like a hairy little ninja (a fat one at that) slowly reaching out her paw to full stretch and gently stroking my face. This stage of Kitty Alarm Clock is pretty much a failure because she's so gentle that it's actually rather nice, so not at all conducive to waking my lazy arse up.
After a couple of minutes of this she moves on to stage two. Now cat tactics are on the shift and she starts going for the more direct approach. Her formally straight-legged style changes up a little bit. She curves her paw and goes for the nearest part of the fave that has an edge. Now depending on my sleeping position it could be cheek, jaw, chin or nose. She puts her little pads on you and gently starts pulling at the face. No claws or drama though, just a slight rocking action somewhat akin to the way you'd try to wake up a very small child who's fallen asleep on the sofa just enough to get then up to bed without waking them fully. This cat tactic has a 50/50 success rate which depend on two factors, How awake I already feel and which part of my face she's pulling at. On the occasion that my face is hidden by may arm, hand or duvet she'll do the same thing to my hand.
Stage three is when she introduces the annoyance factor. Distraught that she has failed in her mission up to now "C" will climb onto my chest or side depending on sleeping position sniff the eyelids gently and if that doesn't word she turns away, lays back down on the chest/side just far enough away from my face that around 3-5 inches of tail can reach me and proceeds to wag her tail. If you own a cat you'll recognize this as the angry wag. If you don't imagine that the rhythm of the normal dog's tail is 1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4 or wag-wag-wag-wag like a drooling metronome. Angry cat wag is done with purpose the message is wag-wait-wait-WAG! Like a fast whipping motion with little intervals probably so the cats little thwacking muscles can build up enough momentum to get a good thump going. Stage three is usually a resounding success, the thwacking combined with getting little hairs on the face should be enough to wake all but the most drunken or deceased.
Yet as of late she's started changing her game. This must be part of the weirdo possessiveness both cats are developing. First of all the ritual is starting earlier than ever before. As early as 5am sometimes. Stage three has changed up too, no more wagging tail now it's straight to eye lid licking, or if I'm on my side ear licking. This part is horrible (ear licking) , 100% sure to get me out of bed. If the eye lick doesn't work she starts biting my hand, not violently just nipping and tugging my hand. The same kind of behaviour some small dogs are prone to. It's starting to look like I'm going to have to start locking them out of the room, then they start the howling...
Anyhoo, I've gone on for too long already. The strange behaviour of the abandoned "P" will have to wait for another time. Don't worry though, she's being looked after.
"C"
"P"
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